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Thursday, April 30, 2009

Big Pharmaceutical

 I'm a self proclaimed crazy and I have a feeling that the pharmaceutical corporations have something to do with the current outbreak of swine flu due to them having a near satanic reputation for testing and allowing deadly diseases to go 'missing' from labs, it should really be a catch phrases. When people are buying into ideas of mass death by an 'unthinkable' threat we have to ask, "WHO is going to profit from this?" Answer, vaccine makers. I have done some quick searching in my spare time to see if anyone else had similar thoughts. I was able to find and have read a doctor's thoughts on the virus and he states that he believes that the swine flu thread must have been man made. Here is the exert from that section of his post: 

Where did This Mysterious New Animal-Human Flu Strain Come From?

Alongside the fear-mongering headlines, I've also seen increasing numbers of reports questioning the true nature of this virus. And rightfully so. 

Could a mixed animal-human mutant like this occur naturally? And if not, who made it, and how was it released?

Not one to dabble too deep in conspiracy theories, I don't have to strain very hard to find actual facts to support the notion that this may not be a natural mutation, and that those who stand to gain have the wherewithal to pull off such a stunt.

Just last month I reported on the story that the American pharmaceutical company Baxter was under investigation for distributing the deadly avian flu virus to 18 different countries as part of a seasonal flu vaccine shipment. Czech reporters were probing to see if it may have been part of a deliberate attempt to start a pandemic; as such a "mistake" would be virtually impossible under the security protocols of that virus.

The H5N1 virus on its own is not very airborne. However, when combined with seasonal flu viruses, which are more easily spread, the effect could be a potent, airborne, deadly, biological weapon. If this batch of live bird flu and seasonal flu viruses had reached the public, it could have resulted in dire consequences.

There is a name for this mixing of viruses; it's called "reassortment," and it is one of two ways pandemic viruses are created in the lab. Some scientists say the most recent global outbreak -- the 1977 Russian flu -- was started by a virus created and leaked from a laboratory.

Another example of the less sterling integrity of Big Pharma is the case of Bayer, who sold millions of dollars worth of an injectable blood-clotting medicine to Asian, Latin American, and some European countries in the mid-1980s, even though they knew it was tainted with the AIDS virus.

So while it is morally unthinkable that a drug company would knowingly contaminate flu vaccines with a deadly flu virus such as the bird- or swine flu, it is certainly not impossible. It has already happened more than once.

But there seems to be no repercussions or hard feelings when industry oversteps the boundaries of morality and integrity and enters the arena of obscenity. Because, lo and behold, which company has been chosen to head up efforts, along with WHO, to produce a vaccine against the Mexican swine flu?

Baxter!11 Despite the fact that ink has barely dried on the investigative reports from their should-be-criminal "mistake" against humanity.

According to other sources,12 a top scientist for the United Nations, who has examined the outbreak of the deadly Ebola virus in Africa, as well as HIV/AIDS victims, has concluded that the current swine flu virus possesses certain transmission "vectors" that suggest the new strain has been genetically-manufactured as a military biological warfare weapon.

The UN expert believes that Ebola, HIV/AIDS, and the current A-H1N1 swine flu virus are biological warfare agents.

In addition, Army criminal investigators are looking into the possibility that disease samples are missing from biolabs at Fort Detrick -- the same Army research lab from which the 2001 anthrax strain was released, according to a recent article in the Fredrick News Post.13 In February, the top biodefense lab halted all its research into Ebola, anthrax, plague, and other diseases known as "select agents," after they discovered virus samples that weren't listed in its inventory and might have been switched with something else. 

Dr. Mercola 
April 29 2009

So, since I have a super hero complex I shall go on with my daily routines as usual until I am able to do something that really leaves a dent to the real ill plaguing the world which will remain to go unnamed for now. Now to quote Officer Barbrady who puts it best, "move along people. nothing to see here." Let's continue working our dead end jobs giving 30% to fund the world's end.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


I just don't trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. 
-Mr. Garrison

Women are ambitious succubi plotting together to formulate a plan for the downfall of men. Women have a mantis-abandon; they breed with a mate then decapitate the poor man and bathe in the squirting fountain of oozing red blood blissfully naked. Later they gather with their own kind to celebrate the birth of godlike sons spawned through false affection still dancing over the grave of the damned man. 

My mother divorced my father, or vice versa, after a hard night of adultery. See, this could have been kept in the closet, pregnant with black skeletons, but unfortunately the thinkable happened. Gravidity, months before anyone could be of wiser. The delicate platform of marriage hoisted by trust and the overrated word 'love' was bowled down and crumbled by the mass of possibilities in its tangible form, this caused the platform to crumbled to its knees. In other words, Atlas sneezed. The world stopped turning for a second and the spasmodic jerk caused what can only be illustrated in example as a vast freight pile up on a busy high way, only the insurance companies profited. This sudden whip lash moment of an unstoppable force of a duo meeting an immovable object of problem caused a rip in space which vacuumed up logic. In this new world down was up, money had value, drugs had meaning and the culprit became the victim. Not only did the mantis take the kids and hung out the corpse of man to dry of all rightful belongings and cash flow, but double fucked, this was not enough to feed the hunger. The marrow had to be sucked dry. On top of the masterminded larceny of taking all possessions and 50,000 dollars USD, they want 50,000 more, and the house. They being the mantises. Men, we must stand firm, never go soft. We are the rightful heirs to god's thrown. The example of Adam and Lilith has been forgotten to the ages, we must band together as brothers.

[not to be taken seriously, though the story is real]

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Everybody has those ideas from time to time. The ideas that make you cringe. That make you metaphysically sweat. It's natural to be a little afraid of what you'd be capable of doing if you were to ignore your conscience and compassion. In fact, it's a good thing to be afraid - it means your conscience and compassion are still intact and working properly. I used to get really sick images in my head of me mutilating my rabbit. I love the little thing, and would never ever do anything to harm her, but the images showed up, unbidden. To make myself feel better about it, I'd find wherever she was napping and give her an enormous hug.

Our fears are right by the surface of the mind, sometimes, and it's natural to think about what we fear. But you've just got to remember that you're in control of your actions, and that these "other" thoughts will fade, in time. As long as you remember why you treasure the things you do, you'll be fine.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Catch 22 of Human(e) Thought

Argueing against creationism is equal to trying to break down a brick wall by smashing your head into it repeatedly. Not going to work unless maybe you have a few million heads and alot of time.
Creationism is a theory like "the world was shat out by a yellow-bellied sapsucker last sunday" is a theory, and it has just as much empirical weight behind it.

Evolution is a scientific theory, such as gravity. We don't know what causes gravity but we know if you let go of a pencil it will fall, or the monumental/ overwhelming mass of a black hole and the gravity created by it 'eats' anything close. It is an explanatory framework that makes sense of the literally millions and millions of individual pieces of evidence that support and are explained by it.

Pop Quiz

I.   I want to build a spaceship. For fuel I can use:
a) Dinitrogen Tetroxide
b) Faith

II. I just found out that the drugs I use to combat malaria are not working anymore. What happened?
a) God did it
b) The disease evolved and became harder to suppress

It's all about practicality. Physics helps us build computers, chemistry helps us make fertilizer, and evolution helps us find medical cures. What is the use of creationism?

The only people who think that there's any kind of "debate" between creationism and evolution don't know they lost 150 years ago. Some communities in the United States even tried to ban Pokemon because it features evolution.

Wandering around through life all moon-eyed and relativistic isn't very helpful though, is it?

Yes, both religious people and reality-based people have a point where they'll be forced to say "I don't know" if you keep questioning regressively.
The strength of science is that it thrives on "I don't know" - every "I don't know" is a pathway opened to new advancement and new understanding. For a religious person "I don't know" is filled by the gap of "god did it". This is what makes religion a useless means of interpreting the world - it's closed, masturbatory, and dogmatic.
Basically, you're claiming that if you can't know everything, you can't know anything. I call enormous motherfucking bullshit on that. Sure, we don't know everything about how the universe works. There are vast, unimaginable mysteries out there for us to discover. That doesn't mean we don't know enough to build a fucking space ship. Building a space ship is how we get closer to finding and understanding those mysteries.

The same way, science may not be able to answer questions of abiogenesis or universal origins completely, but we have enough solid, empirical evidence RIGHT NOW to say that the creation story, as it exists in the bible, is absolutely and completely wrong on all counts. Hell, we've had that for over a century; it just keeps getting stronger.
Don't be mistaken and be under the impression that both science and religion are things people retreat to to avoid having to say "I don't know". On the contrary; science is for people with the wisdom to say "I don't know", and the courage to look for answers.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Quick throw away post

 I'm thinking about some things i may want to write about on here but nothing is set. But i DID just watch Lost In Translation with  the always funny Bill Murray and beautiful Scarlet Johannson (she looks and is as beautiful a friend of mine). I haven't seen it since it came out in 2003. I'm sure everyone knows what the film's plot is by now. A famous American actor travels to Japan for 2 weeks to film a commercial and at the same time a photographer's wife is a few doors down in the same hotel. They slowly but surely become close friends in a short time while the wife's husband is away on business. Together they try and make the best of being in a totally alien land. The film uses some great music (well, 2 songs for sure) and the ending is grand. Spoiler alert: he whispers "And nobody is ever going to believe you"


Actual Film:

Thursday, March 19, 2009

1969. Never Forget

If you look at my 'followers' you'd notice i pimped it into saying Weather Underground. Weathermen. If you have no idea what that is, or what Google is, more power to you. You know, whatever. I don't follow Brannigan's Law, i merely enforce it.

"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows," from the Bob Dylan song Subterranean Homesick Blues

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? 
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able, and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?"

its impossible to prove anything on a deep enough level. You cant even prove blue is blue in reality. Certainty is just a weighing up of probabilities. if you think its 51% likely that you are an athiest, call yourself an athiest. if its the other way around, so be it. Just the odds of it being exactly 50/50 in your mind are highly unlikely. i'd say just lean towards whatever you feel is most rational.

Agnosticism is not a valid alternative to theism or atheism. Gnosticism concerns KNOWLEDGE, theism concerns BELIEF, they are two different things.

You can be an agnostic atheist or an agnostic theist. You can't simply be agnostic. Sure you don't know if god exists, but do you believe in god? If you don't currently believe in god you're an atheist. If you don't know what you believe you're ______.

You can't "disprove" the existence of Xenu or Santa or Russell's Teapot, but you don't go around acting as though they're all perfectly reasonable ideas either. You acknowledge the negligible chance that they exist, and then operate on the assumption that they don't.

Going around pretending that Xenu is a possible alternative is dumb as fuck, and Yahweh (or any other myth) is no fucking better.

It's a binary position. You can't not believe in god and not not believe in god. EVERYONE is either theist or atheist. Agnosticism is a non-issue, nearly everyone (atheist and theist) is agnostic (doesn't know for sure).

Sunday, March 15, 2009


Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: 
I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood. 
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

*last one in this series. these are dumb

Thursday, March 12, 2009


bless me father for i have sinned..
it's been over 3 years since my last confession
If people ever knew of the things i've done, i wouldn't have a friend in the world.
I have sinned against God and against you father; I no longer deserve to be called your son.

Don't speak so self damning my son. You have wandered far, to be in such an unfamiliar land.. In the name of God, repent for your sins.

yes father.. not speaking for so long, my bones wasted away.. Your hand is heavy upon me; my strength is dried up as by the heat of summer.. surely my sin can never be venial..

be clear

yes father.. Murder.. killing of fellow men, of strangers, of whom i feel no animosity against.. for my country.. why? what a fool i've been.. i knew nothing

But you know what you have done is wrong?

yes father.. Is my soul lost, father? Am i damned to hell?

truly the seriousness of such a sin cannot be denied, or undone, but you have confessed to me and repented to God Almighty. Are you truly remorseful for your sin?

Yes father.

Then God forgives you

Do you forgive me, father?

... I do. 

Thank you father

Then go now with God; and in His grace, go in peace wandering child .... (it was only by chance that i have found you. The slayer of my friends, my blood. My brothers and sisters.)

Monday, March 9, 2009

Sensory Deprivation

If reality is what you see, feel, taste, and smell, then reality is merely electrical signals in the brain interpreted.

Lets say somehow you lose your eyes, your ears, and your neck gets broken so you have no feeling in your body at all. Basically, you have zero sensory input. Lets also say you don't even have smell or taste. So then what are you? Just a conscious mind placed in a jar? In about a few hours you'd lose your mind completely because all you could do is think and nothing else. The insanity would become extreme and you could do nothing at all about it. Eventually, within a few hours you'd begin to hallucinate wildly/ Who knows what you'd see, or what emotions will be triggered. You'd experience ego death and quiet quickly slip into complete insanity. Eventually your personality, all that makes you you would shatter (probably a matter of days) but none of it would matter anyway. You'd probably become a god, hallucinate your own universe in which you live in and use your minds idea of the 5 senses, teach yourself everything from what you already know. Existence would probably be a lucid dream. Normal "earth" life would seem a far away memory, your advanced human brain creating a new universe out of extreme boredom.

In a nutshell, the insanity would be incredible. You cant begin to imagine the extent of it.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

"yes sir"

"You know, you look really pretty without handcuffs on
Without the dirt on your face..."

Like the piss and stench of the huddled traitors evaporates from the room
And in that moment I can see her truly, and she can see me too
Beneath the body armor and weaponry, my heart quietly thumps and whispers
"Drop the guns and grab her, now's the time to make your run"
Sitting in my transport as we slip through traffic veins
She doesn't ask me where we're going, only holds my hand and gaze
She's my only reason now, and my only hope to live
We pull up to the cabin way above this damn metropolis

Me and prisoner 247290-Z
Somewhere that is Soilent Green**, we're living life instead
No more war on traitorism, only me and her
She can clean my gun and I could help her clean the floor

Back to something natural, we'll live off of the land
When Radon levels drop we walk the trails and talk and laugh
I tell her she's innocent, and she'll show me she's not
I kiss the number on her arm and lay her on the cot

I'm the first to touch her without gloves on
She's the first to kiss me without crying
Life before this was just dying
Me and prisoner 247290-Z

"Number 247290-Zed, step to the line"

Away from all this violence, live inside each other's heads...
Away from all this violence, live inside each other's heads...
Away from all this violence, live inside each other's heads...

"Dammit Lindt, fire your weapon!"

"Yes sir"


** A food made of human beings fed as rations. Used meaning a place where people are devouring each other metaphorically. i.e., War

Thursday, March 5, 2009

In Another Country

I just finished reading 2 essays by Gore Vidal. One titled Women's Liberation, Feminism And Its Discontents written on July 22, 1971. The other is titled The Birds And The Bees. Both are about the position of women in society and how men have a superiority complex. Mr. Vidal was sporting a rag bandana around his head and typing on his typewriter using the ends of 2 sawed off shotguns to hit the keys as he gently puffed on a cigar. Nah! but what i found fascinating about his writing is how he is capable to cram a library of information and either allude to it, such as many references to women's position in Biblical examples and context, or use it as a quote or his witness to it and flex it into his writing style. It was almost like a satire of the current events happening in 1971. Reading this reminds me of America (the Book): A Citizens Guide to Democracy, somewhat. The general reaction i believe Mr. Vidal is seeking is an "Oh-hooo! snap!". I'll provide exerts from Women's Liberation: Feminism and Its Discontents:

"The Founding Father [God] had strong views on the position of woman (under the man) and one of the few mistakes he ever admitted to was the creation of Lilith as a mate for Adam. Using the same dust as his earthly replica... but let us hear it in his own words, rabbinically divined in the fifth century

Adam and Lilith never found peace together; for when he wished to lie with her, she took offense at the recumbent posture he demanded. "Why must i lie beneath you?" she asked. "I also was made of dust, and am therefore your equal." Because Adam tried to compel her obedience by force, Lilith, in a rage, uttered the magic name of God, rose into the air and left him.

The outcast Lilith is still hanging about the Zeitgeist, we are told, causing babies to strangle in their sleep, men to have wet dreams, and Kate Millett, Betty Friedman, Germaine Greer, and Eva Figes to write books."

" Patriarchalists know that women are dangerously different from men, and not as intelligent (though they have their competencies; needlework, child-care, detective stories). When a woman does show herself to be superior at, say, engineering, Freud finessed that anomaly by reminding us that since she is a bisexual, like everyone else, her engineering skill simply means she's got a bit too much of her tomboy in her, as W. C. Fields once remarked to Grady Sutton on a similar occasion
Women are not going to make it until the Patriarchalists reform, and that is going to take a long time. Meanwhile the current phase of the battle is intense and illuminating. Men are on the defensive, shouting names; they think that to scream "dyke" is enough to make the girls burst into tears, but so far they have played it cool. Some have even admitted to a bit of dyking now and then along with warm mature heterosexual relationships of deeply meaningful fruitful kind that bring much needed children into the world ("Good fucks make good babies" - N. Mailer). I love you Marion and I love you too, Marvin..."

"... the peripheral male and female roles are carefully taught us. A little girl is given a doll instead of a chemistry set. That she might not like dolls, might prefer a chemistry set, will be the start of a nice neurosis for her, a sense of guilt that she is not playing the part society wants her to play..."

"Figes quotes Levi-Strauss. "Men do not act as members of a group, in accordance with what each feels as an individual; each man feels as a function of the way in which he is permitted or obliged to act. Customs are given as external norms before giving rise to internal sentiments of individuals as well as the circumstances in which they may, or must, be displayed.""

"In a society where men have an overriding interest in the acquisition of wealth, and where women themselves have become a form of property, the link between sexuality and money becomes inextricable." This is grim truth. Most men buy their wives, though neither party would admit to the nature of the transaction, preferring such euphemisms as Marvin is a good provider and Marion is built. Then Marion divorces Marvin and takes him to the cleaners, and he buys with whatever is left a younger model. It is money, not sex, that Puritans want. After all, the English word for "coming" used to be "spending": you spend your seed in the woman's bank and, if the moon is right, nine months later you will get an eight-pound dividend."

[he goes on to talk about sex, sexuality and a 'war' raging between feminist and men waged in book writing and meetings]

"...the forces of reaction are very much in the saddle (in every sence), and women must fight for their equality in a system which wants to keep them in manageable family groups, buying consumer goods, raising future consumers, until the end of time-or the world's raw resources, which is rather closer at hand...we are breeding ourselves into extinction. We cannot feed the people now alive. In thirty-seven years the world's population will double unless we have the "good luck" to experience on the grandest scale famine, plague, war. To survive we must stop making babies at the current rate, and this can only be accomplished by breaking the ancient stereotypes of man the warrior, woman the breeder. The patriarchal roar is that of our tribal past, quite unsuitable, as the old Stalinists used to say, to new the sexes,,.and the system will have to change. There will be no houswife to be conned into buying thins she does not need. But all this is in the future. The present is the battleground, and the next voice you hear will be that of a patriarch, defending his attitudes-on a stack of bibles"

Saturday, February 28, 2009

La Maison en Petits Cubes

Oscar 2009 Winner Short Film (Animated)

Symbolism in colored pencil. A humble, lonely old man builds a home up towards the sky as the world floods.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Bill Murray story

It was a late winter night, a few months ago. i was walking down HIguerra street in San Luis Obispo. I had just left Boo Boo Records and was reciting a song silently to myself. "Aint no nigga like the one I got, no one can fuck you betta, sleeps around but he gives me a lo-what the?" when suddenly, i felt someone behind me, they removed my headphones and i felt their hands over my eyes. When I turned in surprise, there was Bill Murray, his creased face leaning in close. Bill whispered "No one is ever going to believe you", and then just walked away.

Can shoes be vegan?

What kinda stupid question is that? HELL YES!

I was shopping for shoes and while i was debating wether i should purchase the black canvas shoes vs the running shoes when i noticed this odd logo printed on the shoe. The shoes were both Macbeth but above the Macbeth logo was a green wide V. Turns out it was a vegan shoe.

Further searching turned out that Macbeth Footwear is owned by Tom DeLonge of disbanded Blink-182 and sell vegan and organic products. Going in deeper i found MooShoes, a shop in Manhattan that sells vegan products online and support no kill animal shelters. Pretty neat, i guess. But you know, whatever.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Please. Won't you stay, and watch with me?

Early in the 21st Century, THE TYRELL

CORPORATION advanced Robot evolution

into the NEXUS phase — a being virtually

identical to a human — known as a Replicant.

The NEXUS 6 Replicants were superior

in strength and agility, and at least equal

in intelligence, to the genetic engineers

who created them.

Replicants were used Off-world as

slave labor, in the hazardous exploration and

colonization of other planets.

After a bloody mutiny by a NEXUS 6

combat team in an Off-world colony,

Replicants were declared illegal

on earth — under penalty of death.

Special police squads — BLADE RUNNER

UNITS — had orders to shoot to kill, upon

detection, any trespassing Replicant.

This was not called execution.

It was called retirement.


Stop right there, fiend!


[[This isn't to change your mind. It is intended to inform.]]

A real world example of supply and demand that once again involves a developing or a poor nation. In West Africa there is a lack of police force to keep people in check by enforcing a limit on what one boat can catch:

"The skippers of the illegal fishing boats tend to favour the waters of some of the poorest nations, which are often inadequately policed as a result of a lack of resources...For centuries, the waters have supported generations of small coastal communities, but as the world's appetite for fish continues to grow, the rich fishing grounds have attracted the attention of illegal vessels".

Oh Shi-

I'm not completely sure how they manage to sell $9 bn worth of fish a year without seeming... fishy. I read from the website [] that in Orange Valley, i believe located in Spain, they go through the "backdoor" of ports and sell off their load to stores, vendors and on the street for half the price with the local people knowing full well what's going on. They may be scared to speak out or it can also be the lack of authoritah. It turns out that their leaders do know what's going on but due to no evidence they cannot act. But, it turns out that these fisherman are paying the port owners a little something on the side to unload their cargo.

The increase of illegal fishing can be tied to the increase of fish consumption. It's much like the increase of meat consumption which can be linked to the increase of deforestation. To help with deforestation nations have taken on consuming and buying more coffee product. Coffee purchased from developing nations, such as Brazil, help decrease deforestation because less trees are cut down to make room for cattle and more native coffee bean plants are planted. People flock to where the money is. So if less fish is consumed we can therefore decrease the practice of illegal fishing and over fishing.

Some ways to do so are to limit your fish intake or if you want to go full force, try becoming vegetarian. I've tried being a vegetarian for a long while and constantly had near slips. Yes it is difficult but so is walking. Once you master it you become a natural. But you know, whatever.

Friday, February 20, 2009

The Greatest YouTube Channel to ever be conceived

Updated: (Go read his channel comments xD)

This man has 6,112 videos of himself smoking a pipe.

His name is Conrad. He is a man of legend for his grand kindness. He is said to have slayed the jabberwock with a single swift vlask of his grand ololo saving the town of the Joos. After chewing his gum he gives the piece a proper burial. He is said to be able to make the coldest hearts melt and then cry with a single twinkle of his eye. The FBI often question him as he sits on his porch puffing a pipe, just because they find him interesting. He’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas. He was once shot in the chest by accident. He didn't die, he politely asked the bullet to come out, then he tucked it into bed and kissed it good-night. His macaroni pictures from preschool hang in the Galleria dell'Accademia, right next to David. His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him. He donated his kidneys 3 times. His pillow talk with Maria Mayer resulted in one of the most important discoveries in molecular science. He once brought a puppy back to life just by smiling. He is Conrad.

Follow us. FREEEEDOMM!!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Lily Chou Chou


Isn't it nice to learn something you kinda knew about but then it gets stretched further when you find out what you knew about that something wasn't the whole story? I heard of the dream pop album Breathe by Lilly Chou Chou, who i believed was a real musician, but turns out it's a fictional person from a Japanese film called All About Lily Chou Chou. If i can find it online i'll post IT. Here's the opening sequence from the film taken from YouTube in the meantime:

this was the best i could do. . you can also watch the film on youtube with bad quality

Monday, February 16, 2009

Awesome find is awesome

Did you ever think that you would ever be able to play a game by watching YouTube videos? Patrick Bolvin pioneered this with his interactive Street Fighter videos. You play by clicking links strategically placed and timed on his videos. Each link takes you to a video and after about 4 you either win or lose. It's not terribly exciting but the idea is very clever.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Heartless Bastard

A boy films himself beating his pet cat in his bathroom and then humiliates it for laughs.

From what i got this kid videotaped himself abusing a cat on Stickam and later uploaded the video to YouTube on Saturday. By Sunday bloggers were able to find all his information and called the authorities and news in his county. He is being investigated and will likely be charged as an adult on charges of animal cruelty.

I cannot tolerate these people who think of living beings who cannot speak as replaceable like cannon fodder. You take up the responsibility of watching over these creatures if you house them and to abuse of them is just satanic. I seriously do not care if this guy gets hit by a bus crossing the street and dragged 30 feet only to survive and live the rest of his life in comatose. He's trash in my eyes.

He was only caught because he posted his actions on the internet for tens of thousands to see and will now be made an example of. This will most likely not affect those who do the same but don't post it. But it's still good that he will be punished. Here's the story from his county news:

"Lawton_In a disgusting case of animal abuse, a cat being abused was filmed by the culprits and posted on YouTube. A teenaged boy slammed a cat against a wall and repeatedly struck it. It was a hot topic on the internet all day Sunday and bloggers think it happened in Lawton.

Among the thousands of posts on the internet, commenters pointed to Lawton as the source after it was posted this weekend. The user name and information, along with other information on the internet pointed to a teen here in Texoma. Posts from all over to country asked people to call 7News, and plenty did. Due to it's graphic nature, much of the video was edited for this story.

The teenager - who calls himself "Timmy" entered a bathroom that he called his laboratory. Inside the shower was a cat which the boy picked up by its neck and slammed against the wall and floor before beating it with his fists. The attack continued for more than a minute.

YouTube removed the video Sunday afternoon and disabled the user's account - but not before it was seen about 30,000 times. Local authorities confirm that they are investigating the video, and Lawton Police say the Comanche County Sheriff's Department is investigating. Sheriff Kenny Stradley has been shown the video."

The Video:

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Perfect =]


i could never in a million years find this in a Hallmark store and is exactly what i want to say..

Friday, February 13, 2009

Shock and Awe

I asked some online buddies to recommend me a book. My expectations were low because of their sense of humor and random comments, but HOT DAMN, (this is my jam Keep me partying till the A.M.). The list below is what was submitted without editing, as i copy pasted it. I am unable to choose because everyone feels their recommendation is the best for me, so, i want to write one title down on an individual slip of paper, place them all in a hat, and pick at random; unless someone out there has an idea(?)   

:0  :.  :D     Ffffuuuuuuuuuu.....  

beyond good and evil

"The Great Crash" by John Kenneth Galbraith

Killing Yourself to Live + Atlas Shrugged

Heart of Darkness

City of Glass -- Paul Auster

Kingdom of Fear

Perks of Being a Wallflower

Flowers of Algernon

Slaughterhouse 5

The Man in the High Castle

Black Elk Speaks

Salman Rushdie's "Midnight's Children"

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. Phillip K. Dick

The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. - By Tom Wolfe.

The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

Les Misérables by Victor Hugo

anarchist cookbook for a bathroom reader

The Visual Display of Quantitative Information
by Edward Tufte

the wind up bird chronicle by Haruki Murakami

"Apt Pupil" by Steven King

Something by william gibson.

My favorite Anthony Burgess novel is One Hand Clapping

THE ROAD by Cormac McCarthy

hitch-hikers guide to the galaxy

Good Omens

The Creatures from Jekyll Island

On The Road

The Gunslinger by Steven King

The Art of War by sun tzu

China Mieville

Aldous Huxley - Brave New World and George Orwell - 1984

gravity's rainbow - thomas pynchon

The Meditations
by Marcus Aurelias

House of Leaves

the road - cormac mccarthy

Solaris by Stanislaw Lem

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card.
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes.
Watership Down by Richard Adams.
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers.

Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

For Science

February 12th marks Charles Darwin's 200th birthday. Cheers! He has taught us one important thing: The strong shall devour the meek's reward. 

Whenever i get a package of plain M&Ms, i make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, i held M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, i apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser" (like my pet rabbit), and i eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally i will get a mutation, a candy that is misshaped, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on the very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength in this way, the species continues to adapt to it's environment.

When i reach the end of the pack, i am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, i pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.
Hackettstown, NJ
17840-1503 U.S.A.

along with a 3x5 card with the words "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." printed on it.

I expect grant money and with this i shall continue my hypothesis with experiments and studies. I shall have a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


The Central Coast is not just famous for the Santa Maria Style BBQ and tri-tip! check out where i'm from!


Santa Barbara: Wine Country (as seen on Sideways). Tons of restaurants, bars, and hotels to choose from and home of the Santa Barbara Zoo

San Luis:

Bubble Gum Alley: An ally covered in gum. Leave some of your own chewed gum behind.

Boo Boo Records: they sell used and new, cd's and vinyls, mainstream and independent. Sometimes Boo Boo's holds free indie shows.

Madonna Inn: Look at the urinals!>

San Luis Obispo de Tolosa: It is part of Mission Plaza, which incorporates San Luis Creek and a number of stores and restaurants.

Montana de Oro State Park: The park's name means "Mountain of Gold" in Spanish. A scenic state park with hiking, camping, beautiful cliffs and rocky beachfront areas

Big Sur:

McWay Falls:

Point Sur Lighthouse:

Pismo Beach and Avila Beach too but i'm kinda tired of this so..


Monday, February 9, 2009

Feb 14

is national rage day if you're single. Hahahahaha.. oh wait, that's me.

I just finished watching The Notebook and i think all critics have said the same thing about this masterpiece.

"Baaaaaawwww!!" T . T

if you haven't watched it you can watch it HERE:

after 72 minutes it stops but you can refresh the page and drag the slider to where you left off... Cried like a little baby.. still wiping the snot from my nose. =]

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Hip Hop = Literary Art

"Dear Sirs
If the pavement comes alive on Flatbush Ave with toothy smiles
Comprised of traffic cones and manholes become eyes
And birds burst into flames while singing Satan's praises
And fold into the sky and rain down ashy danger

If every office empties and all slaves walk in dazes
To a pool of liquid money where they bathe blissfully naked
And drugs no longer taunt me and flooze around my conscience
And every woman beating rapist is securely in their coffins

If every open hydrant in a Brooklyn time summer moment
Is opened up by cops and folds out into an ocean
And rent is paid by bread literally and parking isn't paid for
And food stamps can be planted and childhoods can't be damaged

If fire could power space ships that safely ship the creators
Of dynamite and gun powder to the graves of all who faced it
And the slurping nerf of beauracrat life and bean coutning slave owners
Is twisted in on itself til they shave off their own faces

If all the coke and crack in the nation is collected in a top hat
And force fed to the children of every CIA agent
And dust heads get an angel and an acres worth of rainbow
And the projects turn to clouds and the stupid aren't so proud

And the snivelling grimace mongrels of infected money slobbing pesticrats ignite
into a brilliant beam of light
And mercy is the rule
And the exception's mercy too
And the desert comes in Brooklyn and the President goes to school

Time flows in reverse
Death becomes my birth
Me fighting in your war is still, by a large margin
The least likely thing that will ever fucking happen...ever"

- El-P

Unique thoughts? No. angry people think alike.

Mushroom Samba

Do not judge by appearances; a rich heart may be under a poor coat.
-Scottish Proverb

From a user on a message board:

You are going to like this. True story. It was the end of 8th grade, and my best friend threw a little party because his parents were away for a couple days. What kind of party can a 8th grader throw, you know? So only about 7 people showed up. 6 dudes...1 girl.

Just as you would expect, some crazy shit happened. This girl was a freak, but hot as hell. She would always have that seductive look on her face... the kind that gets you aroused just by looking at her. We were all good friends in school, but never really chilled outside of it. We were all about 14, and really sexually inexperienced. This girl however, has fucked at least 20 different guys. From the moment she walked in the house, we could tell what she wanted.

Lost in her desire, she began to grind up on the host. They made out for about 10 mins, but this girl wanted more. She made us all go into the host's room, and play a modified version of spin the bottle. Basically, instead of just making out, she would decide what to do with the guy. At first we were shy, but pretty soon we all started to jack off while the girl did whatever she pleased.

The situation quickly escalated. She was getting fucked in turns, by 3 different guys, fighting over her pussy like the kids that they were. I would've joined them, but then she waved me to come over. My dick was probably the hardest its ever been. Sticking straight out, and pulsating; I felt like it was gonna explode. To my surprise, she grabbed it and just stuck it in her mouth without warning. I had never had my dick sucked before, but let me tell you, it was amazing.

Game as it was, I was ready to cum in seconds. I didn't know what to do, so I asked her where I should blow my load. And at that moment, she said something I will never forget. She turned to me and said, "read the first word of each paragraph."

- unknown

Mind > Rubber Ducky

Friday, February 6, 2009

My 25 pennies

(1) I love to sketch, paint, scribble, but i only do so when i see fit. The stars have to be just right or I don't feel like what i've done is of importance or worth.

(2) Sometimes when i eat i imagine myself as the cookie monster and mentally say "Nom! Nom! Nom!" as i chew

(3) I don't cry easily but some things hit the chord just right. When i was an adolescent the song "Here She Comes" by Slowdive brought a tear to my eye, i'll admit. The films Pan's Labyrinth, Atonement, and the youtube video where the hell is matt? also. Images of children in pain too. You just have to have apathy and pay all due respects to truly feel.

(4) As a kid i would collect snails and imagined myself riding on their shells up trees, escaping rain, and hiding in bushes. Slimy creatures. 

(5) Sleep is a love hate thing for me. The dreams i have feel so real that the moment i spontaneously wake up from one i believe myself to be in which ever world i was in. Maybe the world is a dream and i simply haven't waken yet. Scary thought.

(6) I take pride in the music i listen to.  Like how i am with people, I listen to anything and everything with an open mind  and without prejudice. I will admit though i joke about race sometimes. ooo, bad bad. The only thing i haven't liked was the album The Effects of 333 by my favorite band, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. That was the first time i said "The Fucks This Shit?"

(7) I have posted nude pictures of myself on the internet, anonymously, after playing a game of roulette on a message board.

(8) The government is just another kingdom that pigs on its peoples taxes. What change is this? And after the American Revolution. The first settlers escaped England to find religious freedom. Then the founding fathers declared a separation between church and state yet the majority of voters are christian and elect a Christian president. and so on and so forth.

(9) One day i inhaled laced cannabis with a hippie and we listened to CoFlow. That day i fully understood hip hop, not as music but as art.

(10) I believe people who spend all their time acquiring knowledge for the sake of knowledge will never grasp the concept of joy, only a false idea of it because they can only apply their learning to their own thoughts and arguments. They hear a bird and think "what kind of bird is it?" and ponder while another may think "he's singing because it's a Tuesday".

(11) Many times i lose myself in thoughts for hours. I think of things that have no importance. I wish to one day think so well that i solve the problem of the Earth and life's enigma.

(12) I change my choice in reading material usually every month. Some included proverbs, american poetry, horror stories etc 

(13) I'm not the biggest religious person in the world. I sometimes say i believe in God when in fact i'm not fully convinced so as to please people. Naturally, the closest thing i can relate to is Taoist. The stories tied with this teaching fascinate me. One example is of the man who tried to escape his shadow and foot prints in the sand.

(14) One of my problems, if seen that way, is i tend to speak the truth or state the obvious. If i think you're acting annoying i'll tell you. This doesn't happen all the time only if i know you well enough or i'm short fussed that day.

(15) I was vegetarian for a short while. Possibly 3 months. The first thing i ate was a big fat cow tongue taco one of my best friends mothers made.

(16) I want there to be a revolution in my lifetime but am only willing to join if it's a strong enough group. Then i think that we are all too cowardly as a people to start anything, like a frill lizard.

(17)  Sometimes i daydream of what it would be like to live in another country, usually a rural one, but also cities, through a first person point of view. Another regular daydream is of myself playing covers of my favorite songs in front of an audience

(18) I believe in reincarnation because there's no way we live life once through our eyes and that's it. I'm thinking about what makes us our own unique self, why we are who we are and why our body  

(19) I want to become a tax preparer or another profession, start a business, then rake in as much money as i can. Then with that money i want to travel the world and better villages through spoiling their children. One thing i want to do is buy school books and materials that everyone can use.

(20) I hate celebrities and sport heroes who do no good with their instant wealth. Their greed is the sludge clogging the air flowing into life's lungs.

(21) Some people are too negative. I don't know how some people can feel so negatively towards another individual in any situation. I guess they try so hard to understand something that they get frustrated because they can't understand it. Who knows?

(22) I don't believe eating meat is necessarily a bad thing, but it should be the top of the pyramid. 

(23) The world is moving too fast. Everyone is so busy that life seems to be on fast forward. I like to pause and appreciate what's in front of me, that's why i love photography. i just wish i had something better than my camera phone.

(24) I'm the type of person who thinks of sex last in a relationship. I'm more about the love between two people and building of a partnership. 

(25) My ultimate dream is to stand in front of an applauding audience in a suit with a gallery featuring my artwork behind me in New York City. I'm going to make it happen, by any means necessary.

A Futurist Humanitarian

"I live on Earth at present, and I don’t know what I am. I know that I am not a category. I am not a thing — a noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process – an integral function of the universe."

"Does humanity have a chance to survive lastingly and successfully on planet Earth, and if so, how?

In 1927, a thirty two year old man stood on the edge of the lake in Chicago's Lincoln Park, planning to drop beneath the dark waters and drown. His daughter had died, his company had gone bankrupt, his reputation had been ruined, and he was becoming an alcoholic. Looking into the lake, he asked himself what one small man in his position could possible do. Then an answer came to him: he was now free to take risks, to initiate action on his own, and, by doing so, to help other people. He returned home and committed himself to the work that he believed the universe wanted him to do, instead of what he had been taught to do. He watched the laws of the natural world and altered his own living patterns accordingly, eventually changing his life completely. Those laws were to inspire and support him in his greatest achievements. But with out his believing and taking a chance, his contributions to humanity would never have been made, and no one would have come to respect the name of Buckminster Fuller

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Superiority Complex

If you compare the City with the Forest, you may begin to wonder why it's man who goes around classifying himself as The Superior Animal.

Superior to what?

I don't know. I've tried to think of something, but I just can't come up with an answer.

If People were Superior to Animals, they'd take better care of the world.

Funny how a baby brings peace

Children of Men. This is an amazing film and this is the best scene. A baby stops chaos, but only momentarily.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

dammit all

I can almost relate to the song "Love Burns" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Last week i put my phone out of commission. I sat on it. It was a Nokia 5610 XpressMusic phone and i called the insurance and they were able to send me a replacement. Thing was it was the OTHER xpressmusic phone. The wrong one. So i send it back and this time they get the correct one. So while i was waiting for my phone i had to use my old old phone. While using it i ran out of memory because of texting. So i go in to delete my in box and see some texts from February of last year with someone of the opposite sex causing nostalgia. i didn't delete anything. i'm a pussy. Things never go the way you want. A passage from The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff, "Everything has its own place and function. That applies to people, although many don't seem to realize it, stuck as they are in the wrong job, the wrong marriage, or the wrong house. When you know and respect your Inner Nature, you know where you belong. You also know where you don't belong." I have to accept that, refusing as i am of the thought. I'm not going to go any deeper so, dammit all.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

gone like tears in rain

It looks to be around 6 PM. The sky's got a grey tint to it. I can't tell where i am. Its raining heavily. It's cold. I'm on my knees, rain dripping off my face, holding the remains of what use to be a cyber human. She appears to be badly damaged. I can see inside her crumbled body. Human because she's telling me things that only a soul can say. and in response i say, ".....".

I hate dreams

First Speech

I JUST thought about this. The first speech has to be a 'show and tell' and can't be longer than 2 minutes. I suspect people are going to bring in a Bible, dog, shoes, etc. i'm going to bring in a pencil and relate it to people and myself. I have the basic idea down but almost in writer's block. So it'll go something like this but not exactly:

"The Pencil. Graphite surrounded by yellow pigmented hexagonal wood. This pencil is unique. Just because it looks like every other pencil doesn't make it like every other pencil. Yes, this pencil is different. This pencil is me.

How is this me if i'm me? Well, this pencil represents all of me. Every bite mark every scratch surrounding the tip is every bit me. Each nick tells a story in a particular POINT in my life. Therefore every pencil is unique.

A particularly nervous/ anxious persons pencil will be marked by a large number of bite marks. A studious person will have a short worn pencil. An asian will have a Hello Kitty Pencil (pause for laughter)

This thing holds my every secret. Together we remember important people and imaginary friends and transfer the memory on paper. We transfer stories and arguments down too in words and diction.

Like your mind, sharpen your pencil or it'll have no point."


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Never doing that again.. well, never say never

I enrolled in a speech class this term. We had to form in a group of 3 and needed to find things that we have in common and present it to the class. I volunteered myself to speak last. My introduction for the first day was a crack up. I pretty much did stand up, working with what i had. Everyone ate it up.

I really want to form a speech about something i'm passionate about. One example the professor gave was one time a guy talked about legalizing prostitution. I was thinking about ranting about the classes we people have placed ourselves in and what it was like before the introduction of class through money. Yeah, it's something like socialism, but when you have people starving to death on one side and on the other they're playing Polo on ELEPHANTS, there's something rotten in the state of Denmark. Cash rules everything around me. C.R.E.A.M get the money. Dollar dollar bill ya'll

Then there's talk of the politicians we can all hear. The censorship put over truth. Real world dilemmas like Darfur, Vietnam, Israel and Palestine, so on.

Here's the twist. I aim to make all my speeches into a performance such as those on Def Poetry Jam.

Friday, January 23, 2009

It's Friday. Another day on this side of the universe. I was in Best Buy recently and lo and behold i found the DVD of Amelie (Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain). I was pretty freaking happy when i got it. the film is a French import about a young girl who lives her life, or more like started living her life, fixing other peoples lives yet her life is without love. Amelie tells her dad something along the lines of "Why fix a gnome when you can fix another person?". In all the film i believe Amelie only has about 2 pages of lines, she is after all a quiet shy person. I'll try not to give anything important away but she ends up falling for a young man but can't bring herself to talk to him. One of my favorite films, a true work of art.

Friday. It's also my friends 21st birthday. We are gonna get so wasted Xo I'm going to go out and meet some people. I had other plans ready with someone who i can't figure out today but that was shipped to hell. O well. Opportunity lost i say.

School starts again Monday morning and i say "FINALLY". I have my books ready and i just love classrooms, books, new faces. Last term was just amazing. I didn't have my crew with me but i had some good friends and cute girls help me get by. After this term i have half a term and i'll apply to SanFran State and NYU. =]

this is agent alan. i kept the peace today. over.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

You know what's BULL SHIT?!

Shoe Laces

no matter how many knots i get these demonic little shits in they can't stay tied. I get them in more knots than a boa constrictoer vs a Judo black belt in a rodeo and somehow these gosh darn Houdinis get untied! it grinds my shit. Sometimes i just want to drive a nail through them, yeah! that'll teach them. but then i'll have a nail through my foot. and that's bull shit.

The Weather

If it's too hot you think you'll spontaneously combust. If it rains you think you'll go the way of the wicked witch of the west. Then on top of that you get sick. What is this the fucking wild? Is this Africa? And then to add an olive to the bull shit pie it ruins plans you made in advance. That is not mud after the rain. That my friends is BULL SHIT

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


If you like fantasy art or digital art, both? visit jason chan's art at
This digital painting i came across i thought was just fucking cute, amazing, talented, etc etc. as hell [=
i invite you to look at some of his work.


I've always wanted to make a painting and document it step by step. My friend Fred, my ex-partner in crime in the Free Art movement, visited me from San Francisco 2 weeks ago. Since moving up there with his girlfriend he has done some amazing works of art. He showed me videos of him working on the paintings on his MacBook and i was just blown away. If he can do this so can i, i said to myself. I mean before he left we had sessions. Sessions is a term graffiti artist use when a group sits and sketches and works on Blackbooks like characters, words, or anything. Lately i found myself unable to finish anything. I feel like i'm just missing something. 404 not found. i lack inspiration. When I go to school for art classes i have deadlines. it's like i'm hired to make work. Other times i dish out pieces is when i think of people or times and end up making portraits or something else. One of my goals or dreams is to migrate to San Francisco and go to school there. But what i aim for is NYU. New York is like the Mecca of culture.

I'm most likely amplifying what it'd be like to live in a grand city but only time can tell and he holds his cards close to his chest.

I cant stand where i'm at because i can't stand where i'm at.

OMG this thing is fucking creepy

*shivers* *gags* it remeinds me of the robots from Ghost in the Shell 2. just watch it move!

The Greatest video on YouTube imo

i remember first seeing this on Kristoff's show El Polaco on Telehit about a year ago. I laugh every time. [=

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Sympathy for the Devil?

first of all, my best friend has a 14 month old boy and my baby sister is 2 years old and i love both with unconditional love. I will give my life for their well being. I back everything this man has to say about the murderer of a 16 month old infant.

George Orwell's writing

"A scrupulous writer, in every sentence that he writes, will ask himself at least four questions, thus: 1. What am I trying to say? 2. What words will express it? 3. What image or idiom will make it clearer? 4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?"

"In our time, political speech and writing are largely the defense of the indefensible. Things like the continuance of British rule in India, the Russian purges and deportations, the dropping of atom bombs on Japan, can indeed be defended, but only by arguments which are too brutal for most people to face, and which do not square with the professed aims of political parties. Thus political language has to consist largely of euphemism, question-begging and sheer cloudy vagueness. Defenseless villages are bombarded from the air, the inhabitants driven out into the countryside, the cattle machine-gunned, the huts set on fire with incendiary bullets: this is called pacification. Millions of peasants are robbed of their farms and sent trudging along the roads with no more than they can carry: this is called transfer of population or rectification of frontiers. People are imprisoned for years without trial, or shot in the back of the neck or sent to die of scurvy in Arctic lumber camps: this is called elimination of unreliable elements."

*professing - profession: an open avowal (true or false) of some belief or opinion
*euphemism - Soft words masking a hard reality, as "he passed away" to relate death.
*pacification - the act of forcibly suppressing or eliminating a population considered to be hostile

"Everyone believes in the atrocities of the enemy and disbelieves in those of his own side, without ever bothering to examine the evidence."

"In past ages, a war, almost by definition, was something that sooner or later came to an end, usually in unmistakable victory or defeat. In the past, also, war was one of the main instruments by which human societies were kept in touch with physical reality. All rulers in all ages have tried to impose a false view of the world upon their followers, but they could not afford to encourage any illusion that tended to impair military efficiency. So long as defeat meant the loss of independence, or some other result generally held to be undesirable, the precautions against defeat had to be serious. Physical facts could not be ignored. In philosophy, or religion, or ethics, or politics, two and two might make five, but when one was designing a gun or an aeroplane they had to make four. Inefficient nations were always conquered sooner or later, and the struggle for efficiency was inimical to illusions. Moreover, to be efficient it was necessary to be able to learn from the past, which meant having a fairly accurate idea of what had happened in the past. Newspapers and history books were, of course, always coloured and biased, but falsification of the kind that is practiced today would have been impossible. War was a sure safeguard of sanity, and so far as the ruling classes were concerned it was probably the most important of all safeguards. While wars could be won or lost, no ruling class could be completely irresponsible."

"We are not like that. We know that no one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. Power is not a means, it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of terrorism is terrorism. The object of oppression is oppression. The object of torture is torture. The object of murder is murder. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?"

"I know it is the fashion to say that most of recorded history is lies anyway. I am willing to believe that history is for the most part inaccurate and biased, but what is peculiar to our own age is the abandonment of the idea that history could be truthfully written."

"All the Animals in the barnyard are equal, except the Pigs are more equal than the others."

"They laid me down again while somebody fetched a stretcher. As soon as I knew that the bullet had gone clean through my neck I took it for granted that I was done for. I had never heard of a man or an animal getting a bullet through the middle of the neck and surviving it. The blood was dribbling out of the comer of my mouth. ‘The artery's gone,’ I thought. I wondered how long you last when your carotid artery is cut; not many minutes, presumably. Everything was very blurry. There must have been about two minutes during which I assumed that I was killed. And that too was interesting—I mean it is interesting to know what your thoughts would be at such a time. My first thought, conventionally enough, was for my wife. My second was a violent resentment at having to leave this world which, when all is said and done, suits me so well. I had time to feel this very vividly. The stupid mischance infuriated me. The meaninglessness of it! To be bumped off, not even in battle, but in this stale comer of the trenches, thanks to a moment's carelessness! I thought, too, of the man who had shot me—wondered what he was like, whether he was a Spaniard or a foreigner, whether he knew he had got me, and so forth. I could not feel any resentment against him. I reflected that as he was a Fascist I would have killed him if I could, but that if he had been taken prisoner and brought before me at this moment I would merely have congratulated him on his good shooting. It may be, though, that if you were really dying your thoughts would be quite different."

"Power is not a means, it is an end."

"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - for ever."

Monday, January 19, 2009

Going to the moon, brb

This ancient drugs been around for years and the high is said to be like that of acid, yet is not illegal. You can buy it mail order. YouTubers have been recording their experiences using the drug and posting them and this has caught the attention of law makers who are now working to make it illegal to buy. Here is a video of a YouTuber demonstrating the effects of Salvia by showing how it impairs the senses. He will demonstrate how he will drive a car, perform a u-turn, and parallel park while on salvia.

further reading:


Thursday, January 15, 2009

head trip

i was holding a baby last night, not my own, while lying on my bed. The infant frees itself from my grips and falls down the side of the bed which rests by the wall. I quickly look down and it's all dark almost like a chasm. I jump out of bed in a panic and turn on the light then with a quick reflex move the bed. i suddenly wake up standing exactly where i was in my sleep with a flux of realization. 


life being the chaos that it is, i was shuffled into a losing hand.
baby, i'm no joker.

Monday, January 12, 2009

fucked up again

I was watching jackass the movie after a long day of bull shit, i just wanted to relax, and i got up to the scene where they shove a car up Ryan Dunn's ass and then take him to get an X-Ray so that it shows up in the image. etc etc. So in passing i mention out loud that i thought it'd be cool to be a radiologist. My dad puts the mute on and goes "what?" so i think "fuck! he's going to start his hour lecture again" and i just wanted to rest. So i say "Nothing. forget about it" "no. What did you say" "i just said i thought it'd be cool to be a radiologist. that's it" "Well why don't you go to school for that. what are you doing wasting your time in art" "... never mind. just forget about it" and he continues to grind my nuts while i'm washing my dishes. So i go back outside to read and he follows shortly to surely talk to me about the economy and how hard it is in the business world. All i wanted to do was read. (just realized this is kinda like the song by Suicidal Tendencies "Institutionalized"). So he starts to talk and i just cut him off and i don't usually have much to say on a normal day but i tell him about his contradictions in his stories and the reality of some matters he was pointing out. Boy he was mad. But then i tell him that he should learn to make his points in just a few words rather than an hour speech because less is more. I regret all i said. I should have allowed my father to continue living in his perfect world where he's actually helping me and molding me into a good person, but sadly the truth hurts.

Moral of the story. Only speak when spoken to.

Flattery or Biting?




I'm not a big fan of Outerspace or Jedi Mind Tricks at that and a huge fan of Company Flow. But the jury's out on this one.

I would be more apathetic if I weren't so lethargic

One of the best psychadelic bands of the 60's!

Also i went pee like 5 times within 5 hours. (get's up to pee, for realsies)

I haven't had a chance to watch the new episodes of Scrubs yet. :/ it's one of my favorite shows. JD, Turk, and Cox are just hilarious.

O! and the "I would be more apathetic if i weren't so lethargic" is from Family Guy where Peter tries to educate himself by reading the New Yorker at a magazine/ news paper booth.

"I would be more apathetic if I weren't so lethargic"
(I would show more abscense of emotion, if i werent so tired)

*waits 2 days*

"OHHhhhhh i get it, thats kinda funny...
Yeah can i get a copy of Juggs?"

i'm going to bed early (it's 12:35 AM).

Peace. see you.. space cowboy.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

My name is Alan. My planet is Boss.

Perhaps it's the curiosity of the unknown that we venture into issues of things such as sanctity and romanticize it in films. The film 'The Holy Mountain' created by Alejandro Jodorowsky in the 70's backed by the Beatles throws out the romantics and feeds it LSD. I could not look away, I showed it to Ms. Gabby and she thought the idea of this film was pretty odd as well.

The film slams in head first with heavy symbolism and wordplay into the issue of religion and the human minds weakness of following and searching for the 'holy grail' by finding and climbing the holy mountain to find spiritual enlightenment and becoming one with God. This film is about a Christ looking figure who is used as a mold of the real Christ. He awakes in the beginning and ventures into a town and befriends prostitutes and a chimpanzee. The symbolism in this film is megaton. There's a scene where the man walks into a waltz occupied by soldiers who pay no attention to him carrying an idol of the Christ, but is just a mold of himself, and walks up to a rotted bible and places his image over it. He then walks up to a bed and lifts the sheet to reveal a man wearing a Pope hat spooning with a different Christ idol. The Pope kicks the man out and the man proceeds to eat his Christ figure's face and ties it, crucifixion style, to balloons and let's it go up into the sky.

The man, known as the 'thief' in the film is befriended by an alchemist who turns the thief's shit into gold, literally. The thief is representing planet Earth in this film and along the way they meet the other 8 incarnations of our solar systems planets that seek immortality and holy sanctity. The planets name describes the person, for example Mars is Ares the god of war in greek mythology. Isla who's planet is Mars manufactures weapons and special weapons for different religions. She makes weapons for Christians, Jews, and weapons made so kids will buy them, etc. These 9 follow the alchemist through a party held on a grave site where they deny all temptations of drugs that corrupt the minds of people who claim that the holy mountain is the drug and the mind is the gate of heaven.

In the end they make it to the top of the holy mountain and find that the gods they are to replace are faceless dummies. The Alchemist laughs and the camera crew laughs and reveal that it was all pointless. The whole point of the film is pointlessness. It reveals the absurdity of religion and mysticism. Jodorowsky shows an overwhelming slew of religious and mystical symbolism and many are led to believe that they are significant. Jodorowsky intones: "The flower knows. You don't need to ask it. Plants are the books where knowledge is written. The grave is your first mother." However, at the end Jodorowsky lifts the veil and shows that it was all meaningless. Even the movie is an illusion, the film admits to being a meaningless illusion, just like religion and the idea of higher powers.

In the end it was all fake. But to reach the top they changed who they were for the better. So even though there was no God and they didn't become immortal they were able to do something good with their life. They didn't corrupt themselves with drugs and war. So was the trip pointless? This was my interpretation of the ending.

This film is surely not for everyone and aimed for those with open minds or a keen sense of picking up images and understanding symbolism. If you can do anything with this it's a nice trip into this directors thoughts and creative ideas on his view of religion. 

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Ignoramus System

I've spent many sleepless nights due to my mind wandering around in late hours with me worrying if it's okay. Have you ever thought about Google? Many if not all of us know how to work it, but do we know HOW it works? Why? We need logic. Many youths don't know why the lights go on when you flick on switch. But one thing is for sure, they can rock you at Play Station. Sir Isaac Newton, Benjamin Franklin, and Da Vinci are thinkers. They spent their time pondering and getting results. 

Schools today are more concerned that you graduate from your classes than the thought of you actually understanding what is being taught. In my high school it was a common thing to see drug deals and fist fights. I even witnessed a riot and saw a video of a stabbing, a fatal shooting, all within a few years of students. It was more like a town of outlaws rather than a place of learning. These kids should be taught to know what's real. It's been a steady decline in the educational system because fools are teaching fools. Some of my teachers actually helped me cheat on tests and once my class took the SAT together because the winning class received a pizza party. Holy shit. I can even barely spell.

Knowledge is passed down and built upon things already done. Plato described knowledge as a statement that is justified, true, and can be believed. So the best teachers are parents and schools. But if neither know what's what, what's the point? These two are concerned that you get a good job rather than a self satisfying career. Like i love art but was always told that it's a worthless career because there's no money in it,  but it's not about the money, never was, it's about the passion. And now i think i've lost some of that passion as a result of slander, even though i act like it doesn't affect me.

So how does google work? i'll leave that to you. 

i'm going back to sleep. 


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Execution of Oscar Grant by police officer

This was clearly unjust and having the gun out was unnecessary. The officers had control of the situation, they had the unarmed Grant sitting on the wall handcuffed and then proceeded to pull him down and then take his life. I can't say if this was racially motivated or not, but the video shows the outer actions and results of the situation. I think if the video didn't exist and it was just eye witness testimony they'll settle with the family out of court and set the officer free and back on the job. The video however tells the story, not the full story but enough. Now he might be punished by the full extent of the law, which he is supposed to uphold, to protect and serve. 

Hopefully the family will do something worthy of their lost one with the 20+ million dollars they'll surely receive, such as a memorial or donate/ form a charity or just for his daughter's college. 

Should guns be outlawed in the US like in Britain? In the UK it is currently an offence for anyone to be in possession of one without a valid licence. A licence may be obtained by anyone aged 17 or over who has a valid reason such as hunting or target shooting. Maybe officers with a certain qualification, park officers, and military should be the only ones to carry a gun. It's so easy for the general public to get a hold of a gun. Guns bring accidental shootings of kids playing with one, robberies, passionate murder, ...